Creative Stream meets Home Life

The months seem to run passed  me. I know I am not alone. We all feel this way right?  Days go too fast and these days I’ve realised that I need to actually slow down… (sad face)

Why the sad face? Because my name Debbie means Bee. Actually it means Queen Bee! haha. So the business& fluttering around of here and there is totally within my character right?!?

But you see, there comes a point where I have not only MYSELF to look after and to be honest my energy levels can’t keep up with the business that I might think I can handle… So instead of just being a Bee I’m going to take a step into the first part of that meaning. The Queen part. I’m having to let others run around if that’s what they want to do. But for me, Im sitting back to do what I can keep doing that is fruitful for me … and stop everything else.

What does this mean and why this post you might ask? I am trying to let you followers know that my once just only creative blog now has to become a personal one too. A touch of family and growth posts as well as creative ones.I can’t have 2 blogs going at once, I’m battling to do 1 never mind 2!

So in effort  grace to calm this queen down and make better decisions that would benefit my health, family and myself I am joining blogs. You may decide to stop following me as you might not have interest in the new HOME LIFE – BEAUTIFUL CHAOS addition and that ok.  Really it is. I’ll miss you but I’m not offended. I understand. There are WAAAAY too many blogs out there to be following something you not totally interested in! But I urge you to just hang in there for a few posts to give me a try ♥ If you still not keen, then it’s ok. Thank you for your time in the past!

If you keen to take the seat of a bit of Home Life & Creativity Life with me, man,  I am so stoked to have you here with me!

Thank you

Deb xx

 

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Growing with your children – Avo & Salt

Have you ever eaten and avocado pear without salt? I just did and it’s rather horrible. The salt brings in an essence that allows the avo flavour to enhance and to taste somewhat delicious. Why the avo and salt you ask? Well, I had the revelation that growing with your children is the salt needed in parenthood.

As you grow with your children by making the right choices,  I realise that you are naturally adding salt to your avo without even thinking about it.

For example : I have always heard and seen many examples whereby the parent reacts to their children in a mirror-like behaviour the child is expressing and that is where you bite some avo but have no salt.
Talking to myself I sheepishly look back to my examples of eating avo without salt and I remember that my child had received no flavour, no salt, and no essence from my childish reaction. In fact it’s quite in vain and only aggravated me by behaving this way.
In the moment of discipline and trying to be a good parent, between trying to hold your household together and still look reasonably presentable in the mornings, you somehow, in-between all that STUFF have to take hold of your maturity (because you are the adult!) and react to your kids tyrannosaurus rex scream/ smacking/ kicking/ crying in a manner that will bring life and bring fruit. That will bring SALT!
“Heck – how do I do that?”, “I have reached my limit!”, “I’m just too tired”
One word. Grace. God’s grace and with that grace He will give you wisdom. Just ask Him. He will give it to you in a second, in the moment of sheer panic and anger. In a second the spilt juice on the floor or vomit linen, or fighting siblings, or running out of milk when its bedtime; moments somehow fall into line, because YOU are in line with the Grace of God.
Believe it or not. It works and it’s so relieving. It takes the load off and somehow, you manage to give salt because you have received it.
So take another day, and know that tomorrow will be better because you asked and because He gave.

 

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Image source: patis

Mom, am I beautiful …

I wrote this a while ago … thought I would share it today.
This morning I read such an inspiring post, it was by a very real person. As you know from earlier posts, I really take pleasure in realness and sincerity because it seems to capture your heart with a solid grip rather than a passing, fleeting emotion.
As a child, I loved cars. I would play with them for ages. I was not much of a girly girl, my sister was the girly one and I was more of a tom-boy or bartar-toughy as my husband would call me. I preferred cars and my cabbage patch doll. This is my memory of me as a child and I guess as we have grown up, I’m still the one that’s not that into makeup and hair even though i do wear it to make myself feel pretty. Isn’t that why we do those things? To make us feel better about ourselves?
It is that question that got me writing out my stance of the peculiar yet daily experienced question most of us find ourselves asking (even if to ourselves)… Am I beautiful? Perhaps you asked your mom, when trying on her clothes, draping off your tiny skinny body as a little girl, desperate to wear her makeup or try on her oversized heels so you can look just like her. Of course, Mom will say ‘you are my darling. Your are very beautiful’
What does that leave in us? A pre-encrypted view of how we look to others for affirmation but very rarely do we find a genuine view of ourselves from someone else. I had a moment this morning, a moment of viewing myself and how I look from the inside instead of the outside. You see, from the outside I am 20 weeks pregnant, with our 2nd child. My body hardly had time to recover from the 1st pregnancy as I fell pregnant when my 1s born was 4 months old. So to be frank, my body is simply a bulging carrier of a blessing and nothing much more for me at this stage of my life.
It does not matter what situation you are in. It does not matter what you have been told as a child or as a women growing up. There is no real and genuine value in what you perceive yourself to be unless, and this is key, unless you are sincere with YOURSELF about how you view YOURSELF. It is totally my choice to be offended by someone or to feel overshadowed by someone. Hey, it’s totally my choice to allow words or actions or even circumstances to alter my perception of me. Haven’t you had days where you in a great frame of mind, on top of the world to suddenly feel super low and deflated? What made you change your mood? It was probably a reaction to something that you saw or faced that made you feel different within yourself. Something burst your bubble.

So I sat this morning feeling rather blue, feeling useless and horrible, something a shopping spree might will fix right? Someone press the big red button that goes BLEEP. What spree you need (and I’m talking to myself) is a conversion with your heart about who you choose to be and how you choose to go about being it. I can wallow in the oversized frame I’m carrying and the chaos of life and tiring work days and choose to not put on makeup because I’m just so darn tired or I can decide that I am actually happy no matter my state of affairs look like because I like being me whether I’ve been told that being me is cool or not. Whether or not I prefer to use makeup this morning or not. I still carry my body, my soul and my heart with me and its therefore my honest and rightful place to carry it the best way I can with the most authenticity I can muster. To be content with myself, whether I’m naked (oh dear!) or wearing clothes and makeup! Listen- I’m not saying get fat and look like a boy. I am saying that if my heart, soul and body is in good shape, chances are I will feel good enough to face the cannon balls life throws at me.

I was told to choose my battles…I’m sure you have heard someone say that before. Well I want to choose not to battle. I choose to know myself inside, to recognise my good, to see my joy instead of complaining about my mistakes, tiredness and bad choices.
Oh there are going to be days, days of blehh and arrghhh. But, I think if I’m happy with who I sincerely am inside. If I know who I am, I might just have the strength to laugh at myself and build that bridge everyone says to get over. If and when my daughter asks me one day ‘Mom, am I beautiful?’ my answer I have now learnt, will be “You are my shining star that beams from inside your heart right through to the outside”
Scripture reference: “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in Gods sight” 1 Peter 3 vs 4.

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Where have I been?

Its been a long time my dear friends … Too long. Writing now, I look back and honestly can’t find where I was. I know it sounds strange, but let me explain.

Having had our second child in November 2013, my life was filled with so much joy. I finally had my little boy and with my first-born daughter, Hubby & I had our pigeon pair. In fact they call it Irish twins as they are exactly 1 year and 1 week apart! Joy was oozing out of our home and my heart because I felt like I accomplished so much & both kids are healthy & happy. I also managed to have a natural birth again which was what I had hoped for but I will spare you those details!

I was lucky enough to get 4 months maternity leave. This was awesome because I could bond with my boy and spend time with my girly too. The recovery after giving birth varies and I was blessed enough to say after 2 weeks I was good to go and even fitting into my pre preggy jeans! Life couldn’t get better … But in fact, it went the other way, crumbling into a time I actually can’t even remember. My body was saying enough but I didn’t realise.

After months of battling with no sleep, depression and my physical deterioration I and many others put it down to exhaustion and having 2 kids under 2 years of age. BOY WERE WE WRONG!

I will never forget this day, because it saved my life. I was sitting at the pediatrician with my daughter as she was to have her tonsils removed after yet another stay in hospital. Dr. Sid Singh took one look at me and said “Mom, before we start with Hannah, lets start with you. You look very sick!” From that moment on; after falling into my bedroom window with my baby, after feeling faint when I never ever had in my whole life, after looking like I have been awake and partying for weeks, after sounding slow, zombie’d and picking up weight with no appetite, after feeling extremely cold, down, sad and hating my life, after looking yellow and ill, after months of talking to myself to get a grip and get with the flow of life, after months of feeling like a failure as a mom, friend, wife and family member, after knowing my body is changing but thinking its just fatigue, after literally crumbling and thinking Im the worst, weakest women ever … I finally got the right help.

I was diagnosed  with severe Hypothyroidism & chronic stage 3B Kidney disease.

The pathologist called me the evening after I went for blood tests that Dr Sid Singh immediately instructed I do, and was told by the pathologist that I needed to get on medication that night. To give you an example of the severity, a woman should be in the range of 1-4 in a thyroid blood test. I was over 100!! … Hence a prompt call from the pathologist and my GP.

How could my GP have missed this I thought? How could I have missed this?

My daughters paediatrician was the only doctor (and I work around doctors every day!) who saw how ill I was!  I can say one thing for sure –  I am glad he is my children’s specialist and now mine too!!

So I am on chronic medication and should be good as new by 2015 I am told. My life seems brighter and I feel more myself never mind sounding and looking like myself. I am sorry that I have been so out of touch with blogging. I really couldn’t even cope with my life or children nevermind blogging or some ME time.

I have done a picture history of myself, my recovery and hope that more women will be more aware of this silent but very violent condition. One day I will share more.

Here’s to having time with you all and for a better, healthier life.

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